I would just be normal. Sometimes people who …
Comment posted What Would You Do? by missbugg.
I would just be normal. Sometimes people who are dying just need someone or something that is actually NORMAL in their ever-changing life. Just be there, like always. Take care!
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missbugg also commented
- be there for her
- I am so sorry to hear about your friend, cancer really is a devastating, evil, illness.
I lost my mum in January of this year, she had terminal lung cancer and passed away 6 weeks after being diagnosed.
I wanted to do something special for mum to show her how much i loved her, and then i realised i didn’t have to show her, she knew how much i loved her.
I spent every second of every day with her, I’d brush her hair, rub moisturising cream on her poor little feet, read her the paper, especially the racing post-she loved a bet on the horses.
sometimes I’d just lay with her in bed and just hold her hand, she couldn’t talk as the tumour in her lung had spread so rapidly it was crushing her voice box, so we’d just lie together and she’d pull funny faces to make me laugh and if i showed her how scared i was at losing her and cried, she’d shake her head and wipe my cheeks and stick her tongue out at me and i’d forget about the pain and the tears and laugh again.
Last Christmas eve it rained and she wanted to see the rain, so i wrapped her up in a big thick blanket and opened the front door and the look on her face will stay with me forever, it might have just been rain to me, but she’d not left the house in weeks and was like an excited child, i even joked that I’d give her £10 if she ran outside and splashed in the puddles!
There is no hard and fast rules on what you should do, just be there for her, if she wants to do something, then to hell with it, let her do it, if my mum wanted to go running through the streets naked i’d have said “go for it mate”
Try and spend as much time as you can with her, it broke my heart having to sit back and watch my mum slowly die in front of my eyes and i thought my aunty was mad when she said that i’d treasure our time together, but she was right, im so glad for our time, her dying has left my life at a stand still, but i
wouldn’t trade what we had in her last few weeks for anything.
I guess what im saying is, you dont need to make some big grand gesture to show her just how special she is to you, just carry on being the great friend that you are and you’ll make her feel special without even realising!
Hope this has helped.
Take care
Jackie - A slideshow or movie going down memory lane of special events with her with music that would mean a lot to her. Spend time with her. People who are important to you mean the most during this time.
- Design a tattoo together. Something that symbolizes her in a cool way. Then take her with you while you have it done. It’ll become a permanent dedication to her and something very unique. (Okay, that’s what I would do for my best friend…maybe not appropriate for everyone but still…)
- Spend an entire day (24 hours) with her doing things that you’d both enjoy…I’m sorry about your friend. That is heaps sad.
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